Where does family start and then end? With how the world is today we have so many diverse family structures it is hard to really have such boundaries. Parents who divorce, leaving children with only a idea of what should be and what is. Aunts and Uncles who bring children in from different marriages, are they now our instant cousins? Mothers who have multiple babies with different men, leaving the siblings confused when one leaves for the weekend while the others stay home with mom. Fathers who leave one family and start a new one with his new wife. Or how about after 30 years or so of marriage and a family, divorce happens and remarriage occurs creating a new family structure with grown step-brothers/sisters and new nephews and so on...
This may strike a cord with some of you and I apologize for that. But these are real events that are happening all around us. My question is how are we all coping and dividing the line between family and circumstances? I am a person who loves, cherishes, and values my family. I have had some unconventional family structures be built around me. But for the most part I have continued to "go with the flow" and except that the choices of others are just that. Not mine to judge, not mine to control, not mine to bare the burden of.
In this time I think a lot is excepted and a lot is not. Some children are ruined from their parents divorce. Some are empowered by it. My question to you is how are you teaching your children about the structure of family? What value do you put on it? Do we adapt to our culture or do we instill our own beliefs onto our children in the hopes they know what once was can be again?
Do you draw the line?
4 comments:
Great blog...beautifully written...hmmmm??? Definition of the word family...is parents and their children...relatives...a group of related things. I think it's all about connecting the dots!
Love you Jill Marie!
(I'm waiting for input.)
Me too! I really would like to see people dive into this. Such a good topic for debate!
Great post.
Ah... moving to Mexico was the best thing C. and I EVER did.
:)
I'm a child of multiple divorces, have had a variety of step-siblings and currently have five half siblings.
What I've done over the years? I've come to love and appreciate my family for what they are. I understand that I can't change them. I also understand that I'm not ever going to understand them completely... (this goes for in-laws, as well.)
I'll say it again: moving to Mexico and starting our OWN traditions and our OWN family was the best thing we ever did.
While I LOVE family... and at times my heart aches to be closer to them... I usually remind myself that family usually looks better in pictures than in real life. :)
(I hope that didn't sound to cynical.)
I worry that my ladies aren't going to grow up knowing their grandparents/aunts/uncles -- but then again, I worry about the influence that some of those relationships would have on them anyway...
Right now I think we are where we should be for a reason.
(Can't wait to hear others' thoughts.)
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