Dear,
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Amos 3:3
This Scripture in Amos is very important related to marriage. The question Amos asks begs a response—yes or no? Can two people walk together in a harmonious relationship when they have not reached agreement beforehand? The answer is no.
Prior agreement is crucial for harmony in a relationship. Notice I used the word “prior”. In order for a relationship to be peaceful and intimate we need to take the time to talk things out in advance. This dramatically reduces the chances of relational tension, fighting or serious problems.
Let me illustrate the importance of this issue by listing three levels of communication in marriage and the results of each one:
Proactive Communication - Communicating in advance. This means talking about finances, budgeting, time and calendar commitments, household responsibilities, children, meeting each others needs, etc. The result of communicating in advance is mutual understanding, agreement, accountability and peace.
Reactive Communication - Communicating in response to problems or tension. Even though all couples will do this at times, without prior communication this becomes the default method of dealing with issues. Reactive communication is inferior because it is emotionally charged in the heat of the moment. You are making decisions or talking through issues when offenses are fresh and objectivity is compromised. Reactive communication leads to inferior decision making and lowered levels of trust.
Radioactive Communication - Because issues have not been discussed and decided in advance, problems arise concerning things such as money, children or sex that become so emotionally charged that they cannot be discussed without damage to the relationship. Reactive communication leads to radioactive issues. The answer is to discuss issues when you are not in crisis and you have the time to be thorough. If things are so bad you can’t work it out as a couple, get help.
I encourage you to take the time to sit and talk things out in advance. It will improve every area of your relationship. You can walk together if you will first agree.
Blessings,
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Amos 3:3
This Scripture in Amos is very important related to marriage. The question Amos asks begs a response—yes or no? Can two people walk together in a harmonious relationship when they have not reached agreement beforehand? The answer is no.
Prior agreement is crucial for harmony in a relationship. Notice I used the word “prior”. In order for a relationship to be peaceful and intimate we need to take the time to talk things out in advance. This dramatically reduces the chances of relational tension, fighting or serious problems.
Let me illustrate the importance of this issue by listing three levels of communication in marriage and the results of each one:
Proactive Communication - Communicating in advance. This means talking about finances, budgeting, time and calendar commitments, household responsibilities, children, meeting each others needs, etc. The result of communicating in advance is mutual understanding, agreement, accountability and peace.
Reactive Communication - Communicating in response to problems or tension. Even though all couples will do this at times, without prior communication this becomes the default method of dealing with issues. Reactive communication is inferior because it is emotionally charged in the heat of the moment. You are making decisions or talking through issues when offenses are fresh and objectivity is compromised. Reactive communication leads to inferior decision making and lowered levels of trust.
Radioactive Communication - Because issues have not been discussed and decided in advance, problems arise concerning things such as money, children or sex that become so emotionally charged that they cannot be discussed without damage to the relationship. Reactive communication leads to radioactive issues. The answer is to discuss issues when you are not in crisis and you have the time to be thorough. If things are so bad you can’t work it out as a couple, get help.
I encourage you to take the time to sit and talk things out in advance. It will improve every area of your relationship. You can walk together if you will first agree.
Blessings,
Jimmy Evans
0 comments:
Post a Comment