Dear ,
I was eating lunch a while back with a really nice couple. They were both around forty years old and had several children. I could tell after being with them for a while that they had a good marriage. But just like everyone, they had worked through some difficult issues.
One of the things they told me about really interested me. It wasn’t the nature of the problem that got my attention, it was the way they worked through it. They first of all began telling me how she didn’t like housework. Even though she did it, she cut a few corners here and there.
An example of one of the corners she cut was that when the clothes came out of the dryer, she didn’t fold them. She just took the clothes out and put them where they belonged in their post-dryer state. It drove him crazy. They fought about it for years.
One of her pet peeves about him was how much he watched sports on television. Every year it became more of an issue. But one day they decided to stop griping at each other and reach a compromise. After years of escalating the frustration with each other they decided to negotiate. They made a deal that he wouldn’t complain anymore about her housework and not folding the clothes if she wouldn’t complain about him watching sports.
Of course, they both agreed that they wouldn’t take advantage of each person by going to extremes. However, years after reaching their agreement it still worked. As they were telling me about it over lunch they both laughed about how much tension it once caused and how they learned to make it work.
This couple is a good example of how we must learn to compromise in marriage. Of course, we never compromise our morals or core beliefs. But we have to be willing to talk things out and learn to make accommodations for each other. It is like the proverbial tree that must bend lest it break. Many marriages end up breaking because one or both spouses refuse to bend during turbulent times or concerning difficult issues.
Are you experiencing chronic issues in your marriage? Are there mutual annoyances in your relationship that are escalating? Maybe it’s time for a compromise. I’m not saying that you should ignore serious issues that need a definitive solution. I’m saying that there might be some issues that aren’t worth fighting over. It’s not a matter of right or wrong it’s a matter of happy or miserable.
Be happy and compromise. You may not get your underwear folded, but you can watch ESPN in peace!
Blessings,
I was eating lunch a while back with a really nice couple. They were both around forty years old and had several children. I could tell after being with them for a while that they had a good marriage. But just like everyone, they had worked through some difficult issues.
One of the things they told me about really interested me. It wasn’t the nature of the problem that got my attention, it was the way they worked through it. They first of all began telling me how she didn’t like housework. Even though she did it, she cut a few corners here and there.
An example of one of the corners she cut was that when the clothes came out of the dryer, she didn’t fold them. She just took the clothes out and put them where they belonged in their post-dryer state. It drove him crazy. They fought about it for years.
One of her pet peeves about him was how much he watched sports on television. Every year it became more of an issue. But one day they decided to stop griping at each other and reach a compromise. After years of escalating the frustration with each other they decided to negotiate. They made a deal that he wouldn’t complain anymore about her housework and not folding the clothes if she wouldn’t complain about him watching sports.
Of course, they both agreed that they wouldn’t take advantage of each person by going to extremes. However, years after reaching their agreement it still worked. As they were telling me about it over lunch they both laughed about how much tension it once caused and how they learned to make it work.
This couple is a good example of how we must learn to compromise in marriage. Of course, we never compromise our morals or core beliefs. But we have to be willing to talk things out and learn to make accommodations for each other. It is like the proverbial tree that must bend lest it break. Many marriages end up breaking because one or both spouses refuse to bend during turbulent times or concerning difficult issues.
Are you experiencing chronic issues in your marriage? Are there mutual annoyances in your relationship that are escalating? Maybe it’s time for a compromise. I’m not saying that you should ignore serious issues that need a definitive solution. I’m saying that there might be some issues that aren’t worth fighting over. It’s not a matter of right or wrong it’s a matter of happy or miserable.
Be happy and compromise. You may not get your underwear folded, but you can watch ESPN in peace!
Blessings,
Jimmy Evans
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