Dear ,
There is an interesting paradox about successful marriages. The first part of the paradox has to do with the fact that, according to research, the most successful couples are those with high expectations for their marriages. However, high expectations by themselves are a setup for disappointment and sure failure unless they are combined with a realistic assessment of the high price that will have to be paid to see your dreams come true.
This is the essence of the paradox — high expectations must be combined with a tough minded commitment to pay the price necessary to see them come true. It's no different than having a dream to own a successful business. The desire is wonderful as long as you expect to have to work hard and make some sacrifices. The same would be true of one's desire to have a body that is in great shape. The desire must be combined with a commitment to eat right and exercise, otherwise it will never happen.
Somehow, we understand the connection between high expectations and hard work in every area of life except for marriage. So many couples enter into marriage with high expectations but without the understanding that it will take hard work and time to get there. In fact, some people are convinced that if you have to work too hard in marriage, there must be something wrong.
No, there's nothing wrong. Marriage is work and it only works when people are willing to roll up their sleeves and give it their best. If you want to succeed in marriage, you need to begin with a big dream in your heart for what you want to accomplish. Make sure it's realistic, but don't let it be too small. God is the God of big dreams. Then, once you have a big dream and some high expectations, commit yourself to working hard and sacrificing for as long as necessary to see your dreams come true. This also includes praying hard for God's blessings and assistance.
Big dreams and hard work are the magic ingredients that create great marriages. Do you have a high expectations and a big dream for your marriage? Have you given up and lowered your standards because of previous disappointments? Are you giving your marriage your best and understand the work ethic and sacrifice that is a part of every great marriage?
I want you to succeed in marriage. Don't give up. Dream again and talk and pray with your spouse until you have the same vision for your future. As you do, commit to God and each other to give your marriage your best. Expect difficulty and hard work. They aren't your enemies. They are the inevitable path we all must travel on the way to our dream marriages. There are no exceptions and no “perfect soul mate” utopias. Just the promise of happiness for any good hearted, hard working couple willing to sweat their way to the promised land.
There is an interesting paradox about successful marriages. The first part of the paradox has to do with the fact that, according to research, the most successful couples are those with high expectations for their marriages. However, high expectations by themselves are a setup for disappointment and sure failure unless they are combined with a realistic assessment of the high price that will have to be paid to see your dreams come true.
This is the essence of the paradox — high expectations must be combined with a tough minded commitment to pay the price necessary to see them come true. It's no different than having a dream to own a successful business. The desire is wonderful as long as you expect to have to work hard and make some sacrifices. The same would be true of one's desire to have a body that is in great shape. The desire must be combined with a commitment to eat right and exercise, otherwise it will never happen.
Somehow, we understand the connection between high expectations and hard work in every area of life except for marriage. So many couples enter into marriage with high expectations but without the understanding that it will take hard work and time to get there. In fact, some people are convinced that if you have to work too hard in marriage, there must be something wrong.
No, there's nothing wrong. Marriage is work and it only works when people are willing to roll up their sleeves and give it their best. If you want to succeed in marriage, you need to begin with a big dream in your heart for what you want to accomplish. Make sure it's realistic, but don't let it be too small. God is the God of big dreams. Then, once you have a big dream and some high expectations, commit yourself to working hard and sacrificing for as long as necessary to see your dreams come true. This also includes praying hard for God's blessings and assistance.
Big dreams and hard work are the magic ingredients that create great marriages. Do you have a high expectations and a big dream for your marriage? Have you given up and lowered your standards because of previous disappointments? Are you giving your marriage your best and understand the work ethic and sacrifice that is a part of every great marriage?
I want you to succeed in marriage. Don't give up. Dream again and talk and pray with your spouse until you have the same vision for your future. As you do, commit to God and each other to give your marriage your best. Expect difficulty and hard work. They aren't your enemies. They are the inevitable path we all must travel on the way to our dream marriages. There are no exceptions and no “perfect soul mate” utopias. Just the promise of happiness for any good hearted, hard working couple willing to sweat their way to the promised land.
Blessings,
Jimmy Evans
2 comments:
I like reading these. The one about the guy that is a slob because he's a perfectionist, that one blew me away. That makes so much sense and I can completely relate!
Like most marriages mine is far from perfect. We have a lot of struggles, but we truly love one another. These help me put things in better perspective! I thought sharing them will only strengthen others as well!!
Thanks
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